I began my journey working in the funeral business in November of 2011, and although I had a slight idea of what I was getting into, I had NO idea the extent of how things were. While I'm still learning and will continue to learn throughout my career, my eyes have been opened to a lot of things about life that I never noticed before, such as discrimination of being a female in a male dominated business. (Yes, it still happens and my fellow female coworkers along with myself experience it more than you'd think. (IT'S OUT THERE PEOPLE!)
I've never considered myself to be a feminist because in my mind, I thought that discrimination among men and women had ceased to exist for the most part and I really didn't care. However, I've learned that still today, in the year of 2015 there are still people out there who refuse to acknowledge or speak to me about things because I am a female and I'm going to be completely honest, it not only offends me, but it infuriates me. I will only go into brief detail about a couple of instances that I've seen or experienced first hand discrimination because of being a female. There have been individuals call with a question about their loved one's funeral bill and refused to let me help them. They insisted that they talk to one of the men that worked there. One of my female co-workers and I went to pick up an individual and after giving the family a packet of information and discussing with them what they may want to do, they come back out of the room and ask us when the funeral home was going to arrive. A male of a family who I had been with the entire process of losing their loved one: the pick-up, preparation, arrangement process, getting them ready for viewing, staying with them at the graveyard until their loved one was buried came up and shook my male co-workers hand and thanked him for everything that he had done, and just looked at me. Before anyone wants to say that I'm jealous, that is not it at all. However, I had played a significant role in carrying out that family's wishes for their loved one with the help of my coworkers. I'm not sure if the man thought if I was there just to look pretty or what, but it did really bother me that I was not even acknowledged after the work, time and compassion I had given to that family.
So I will enlighten those interested as well as those who may not even realize what females in the funeral business do and why we deserve just as much recognition as males do.
1. We lift just as much as the guys do. That's right, we lift caskets unoccupied and occupied, we go out on calls and make removals in homes (which is sometimes very hard depending on the layout of the home) as well as medical facilities.
2. We work long hours just like the guys do. There have been many nights I've worked a visitation, been home an hour and about to hop in the bed just to get called back out and be out working the entire night. I've finished as the sun was coming up then I've went home to shower and change clothes to head back to work and work that day. (This is why I have said and will always say that coffee is my best friend. Because it is.)
3. We've went to school and worked just as hard as the guys have to get our license. It takes brains and talent to work in the business. Something that men and women are both born with.
4. We get your loved ones ready for you to see just like the guys do. This is one that I can say we've got a slight advantage on over the men in the business. We are good with hair and makeup because we work with it on a daily basis on ourselves. Now don't get me wrong, my fiance' and other male coworker is awesome at makeup and concealing, but they're not very comfortable with taking a hot curling iron and going by a picture to make a woman's hair look great, and they've not yet mastered a poof or teasing.
5. We take care of your family as well as our own just like the guys do. In addition to the things that I listed above, we go home to our families and in between our unpredictable work schedules, we still manage to find time to make sure our family has supper, the kids have their homework done, that they make it to after school functions and activities and that they make it to school on time in the mornings. Although I don't have children of my own yet, some of my female coworkers do, and I see them along with one of my male coworkers do it all and do it well.
I'm thankful that acceptance of women has come a long way from what it used to be, and I'm aware that there will always be people out there that refuse to talk business with a woman and all we can do is respect their choice. By no means should it affect our work ethic or the work that we do. In fact, it should make us work even harder. Living in the mountains comes with the fact that people are still behind the times, and that includes women working in male dominated businesses especially the funeral business due to the fact that they've always been used to men taking care of them and their families. I truly believe that with time and patience more acceptance will come. So to all of the females out there in the business as well as other females making their way in other types of male dominated businesses, keep your head up, keep working hard, and keep on keeping on. Be proud of who you are and what you do.
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