From Funeral Planning to Wedding Planning- What the Business Taught me about Relationships that Everyone Should Know

As a lot of people know, I got engaged over the past weekend and it was nothing short of amazing. The thoughts of getting to marry my best best friend whom I also work along beside with everyday is so exciting and do consider myself very blessed. However, it was a long time coming. When I think back on past relationships compared to the one I have now with Jeffrey, everything just makes sense that I am where I am and that I'm with him. I can honestly say that I am thankful for each relationship that I have been in in the past, especially the few I was in since I've started working in the business because they each taught me very valuable things about what I deserved and how I should be treated when it comes to relationships. (Things that everyone no matter what profession that you're in should know.)
 
Working in the Funeral Industry is a very demanding profession. As I've mentioned before it requires a lot of your time, which leaves very little time for for yourself and your family, let alone time for dating. In the few past relationships before Jeffrey, I found that guys just didn't get the fact that I worked night and day, or that I couldn't go out of town on a night that I wasn't working because there was a possibility that I would get called out. I was even told once that my job sucked and that I had made the wrong choice by deciding to work in the funeral business. (Trust me, I took offense to that comment and I sent him on his way quick.) It was then that I learned that I needed to find someone who would understand, encourage and support my profession. With Jeff I have that because not only does he do the same exact thing that I do but we get to do it together quite often. Now I'm not saying that you need to run out there and try to find someone who is in the same profession as you in order to make it work, but you do need to stop and look at yourself and realize your self-worth. In my opinion, there are some vital things that are needed in order to make a relationship work, and understanding about things that take a lot of your time such as your job or in some instances people who are involved in your life a lot is very important. If the understanding and support isn't there then it will lead to a lot of arguments and you might as well just end the relationship right then and there. When you stop to think about it, if someone is not going to be understanding about a job or things that you are passionate about then you don't need them anyway.  It just shows that they are selfish and really don't care about you and chances are they will NEVER support you with anything else you choose to do.

Jeff and I just happened. We get along so well, and I really think that it was due to the fact that we started out as friends first. I was one of those people who rolled my eyes when someone said it was better to find someone and be friends with them first because let's just be honest, in today's generation you can meet or reject people simply by a swipe across a screen. My opinion on that now has completely changed. Since we were already friends and had worked almost a year and a half together, that whole awkward getting to know each other phase was eliminated. I was already aware of his annoying little habits (as he was mine), so we knew what we were getting into. We still learn new things about each other everyday, but it was nice to already have a sturdy foundation on (so to speak) so we could build a relationship on. The main point is, do not rush anything, let it go at its own pace and let everything fall into place the way it is meant to be. You can't just rush into a relationship without knowing someone and expect it to work. It just goes to show you, that even the most unlikely things such as working with death can teach you important things not only about yourself, but about relationships as well.

I'm truly blessed that Jeff was brought into my life and honestly couldn't have found anyone else who treats me with as much respect and that shows me as much love as he does: something that EVERY SINGLE PERSON deserves and should strive to have. I couldn't end this post without bragging on him and showing off the ring. As for those who may be wondering if I will incorporate our profession into our wedding the answer is YES! (And I couldn't be more excited.) 

The Truth about Pre-Arranging Your Funeral and Why It's One of the Most Important Things You Should Do

Death has touched us all in some way at some point throughout our lives and will continue to do. As each passing day goes by we are a day closer to death, which is something many people do not want to acknowledge or accept for many different reasons. To some people it's because of fear, (which is perfectly normal) or because they think they have plenty of time on this Earth, or sadly, they really just don't care and believe they will be taken care of regardless. (Which in 90% of cases doesn't happen.) With all of this being said, and due to the fact that I'm seeing more and more families having loved ones pass away and they have no means of paying for a type of service that they want, I saw that it was vital that I bring this topic up in a blog.

First off, I want to start off by saying that by no means do I intend to offend anyone, but I am honest and I feel that people need to be aware. Especially when it comes to the funeral industry. There are just so many misconceptions about death and what we as funeral service professionals do, mainly because people are uneducated on the subject. (Like I said, people do not want to think about death and dying.)

The main misconception that I have seen is that Funeral Homes are obligated to bury every body that dies that has no means of paying for it. This is not true and is one of the reasons why funeral homes and the professionals that work in the business get looked down upon in a negative light. But before you start saying that we are inconsiderate and don't care, you need to know why funeral homes cannot give funerals away. It's not because we don't care, we wish that we could, but once we give one funeral away, it would be expected that we give all of them away. A lot of time and work goes into caring for each and every family that is served, it is our job and a selfless job at that. The best way to get my point across is by explaining it like this: You cant just go into Walmart or into a store, load up on goods and walk out the door without paying for them. The same goes for funerals. However, there are many funeral homes that are willing to work with families as far as payment options: there is a percentage that is required to be paid down up front, then the family can work out a monthly payment plan. For some families this works out well, but there are also many that promises to pay then doesn't. It's not fair to those of us who work long hours and put a lot of time into each and every individual service to not get paid for it. I know that all of you who read this that work hard in any profession and love what they do would agree with me on this.

So hopefully, I've sparked some interest now and have you thinking. Have you ever stopped to think about what you'd like to have happen when you pass away? Cremation? Do you want your ashes to be scattered somewhere special or kept in a keepsake urn? Did you know that cremains could be turned into beautiful gem jewelry for your family members to keep? Or what about traditional services with a burial? What color of casket would you like? Where would you like to be buried? For those of you who have children, or will have future children your last wishes are something that needs to be known. Do you really want to leave your children with the stress of trying to decide on what you would have wanted done when you pass away? That is why I believe that prearranging your own funeral is so important. It lets your wishes be known, and it eliminates your already grieving family from having to make hard decisions as well as leaving them in a financial bind to pay for your services. Not too long ago, a family had lost their mother: who just had happened to come in twenty years ago and sit down, picked out the casket she wanted, gave some of the vital information the funeral home would need to file a death certificate and paid for her funeral. In the 1990's she paid 4000.00 for her funeral, which in turn the funeral home put into a trust fund account: Funeral Funding Trust of Kentucky, which is a trust fund for funeral accounts that cannot be touched by anyone (including funeral homes) until the person has passed away. It can only be used for funeral purposes so that insures that your money is used on you for your funeral services. For twenty years the money grew interest, to cover the inflation costs of the merchandise that she selected because just like everything else, even the price of funeral merchandise gets higher each year. When her children came in to finalize arrangements, and it was time to talk money, they were shocked and amazed but even more relieved to find out that her funeral was already paid for.

Now you may be wondering, "Well, what if I don't have thousands of dollars to pay for my funeral up front at once?" The answer is, you don't have to pay it in full. You can go to the funeral home of your choice and prearrange with them, and send in any amount of money you want to whenever you want to to be put into an account. Some people send in money that ranges from five dollars to one hundred dollars a month. Every little bit helps and over time it does add up. If the Trust Fund isn't your cup of tea, you can also take out a life insurance policy. (To all my young adult readers out there this would also be a good option for you.) I took out a life insurance policy when I was 23, three years ago and it was one of the best "big girl life decisions" that I ever made. I got my policy with a low monthly payment that will not change (because of my age and the fact that I was in good health.) In twenty years my policy will be paid for. Not too bad for twenty-five dollars a month. I also made my prearrangement, so my wishes would be known to my parents, just so it would make things easier on them if anything was to happen and I'll be honest, I felt like a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. That was one major thing that I could check off my list of what I needed to take care of. It also felt good knowing that I had helped my family if anything was to happen to me. FYI: If you make a prearrangement with a funeral home and later on decide to go somewhere else you CAN take your preneed from your first funeral home of choice and take to another. Do not let anyone try to tell you otherwise.

Whatever route that you decide to go is completely up to you. Regardless I suggest that you go to the funeral home of your choice and sit down with them so they can explain to you different options when it comes to prearrangement. Many people often say that they were glad that they went ahead and did it, and that it wasn't as bad as what they expected. So hopefully I've shed some light on the subject. I know the subject of death is one that no one wants to think about but the bitter truth is you have to. If you can do one last thing for your family, one of them should be helping them with this.

Have a great weekend everyone!