Southern Funeral Customs that Make Me Proud to be from the South

As you know, I'm proud of my profession, as well as where I came from. There's nothing better than southern hospitality; something that the majority of us living in the mountains show amongst each other as well as outsiders that we come into contact with. This hospitality is almost always shown during the passing of a community member's loved one. When someone passes in one of our small close-knit communities, the community comes together, to help as well as grieve along with the family. So to the outsiders in different states, or even living in the larger cities of Kentucky you may wonder, "What is it that families in the Mountains do so differently?" There are some Southern Funeral Customs that have been practiced for many years being passed down from generation to generation, and have continued to this very day that will continue on.

1. Food
     If there's one thing that the people of Appalachia love it's food. Whether it is a nice potluck at church on Sunday, reunions, or even a small family get-together, food is always the centerpiece of any social engagement. When someone in the community passes away, other families rush to the aid to help in any way that they can and the first thing that comes to mind is food. I mean, when a family is grieving, the last thing on their mind is eating, let alone taking the time to fix a meal. When my Pawpaw passed away, so many people that we know, brought food to our home, as well as the Funeral Home. There was enough food to last my HUGE family for days. Enough to get us through the arrangement process, the days of visitation and after the day of the funeral. To us in the South, there's so much more to someone just bringing food; it's a huge act of kindness and thoughtfulness on behalf of the person who brought it, not to mention it's heartwarming at the thought that that person took the time to fix something for you and your grieving family. Yes, you better believe that all those pies, cakes and deserts were made with a lot of love with some extra thrown in. (That's why they taste so good.)

2. Pulling Off to the Side of the Road During a Procession
      This is a custom that is still being practiced thankfully in the hills of Appalachia. However this cannot be done in Lexington and other larger cities, because of safety reasons. In the larger cities, the family is told to meet at the cemetery at a scheduled time after a funeral service, but not in hills of Eastern Kentucky. I have been in quite a few processions, many I've drove the hearse myself and it makes me so proud when I see others take just a couple minutes of their time to pull off the side of the road so a procession can go by. Now there are some out there that have absolutely NO RESPECT for anyone, and just fly right on by, but the number of people who actually respect processions surpass the number of those who don't. Even people who are walking will stop and take their hats off long enough to show respect for a family dealing with the loss of a loved one. Until you are driving in a procession to bury your loved one you don't know how much it means when someone pulls off the road a couple of moments for your family to pass by. So people, next time you see one, please pull over. It's a simple act of kindness that you will expect someday yourself.

3. Turning Your Music Down when Passing a Cemetery or a Funeral Home Having Services
     This custom is one that some may not even know about, especially the younger generations. However, I was always told to turn down my radio whenever I passed a church, funeral home or cemetery that was handling visitation and funeral services . Now many may ask me why this is so important, and all I will say is this; would you like to be standing during services of someone you love, especially at a cemetery and hear someone blasting "Drop it Like it's Hot" as your loved one is being lowered into the ground? I think not. Trust me, it's happened before.


Respect and love are two the few things that make us living in the Mountains who we are. Tradition is kept close to our hearts, and passed down to our younger generations. Let's continue to keep these traditions going and teach our children to do the same. The customs that I mentioned are just a few of the things that make us who we are and set us apart from the other groups of people living in our state and nation. Continue to be proud of who we are and what we do. :)

Labor Day- To those who work on this Holiday, this is for You

Labor Day, a holiday that is recognized by most people as a day off from work to enjoy time with their families, cookouts, and most importantly a day of rest. This holiday was first recognized in 1882 to show appreciation of the American workers who helped to achieve social and economic prosperity within our country. While many people are fortunate to get this holiday off there are some that still have to work during this day, and this is something that many people fail to remember.

While most are relaxing with their families, there are people out there that are working saving lives, aiding to the sick, and keeping peace among our communities. Sadly, death doesn't stop for Labor Day either. However while I have been on call today, I was fortunate to not have to go into work. I'm even more grateful to say that I haven't been called out so far, because despite of one of the myths about us that work in the funeral business, we do not sit around just wishing that people will die. (Especially on holidays.)

This post is more of a recognition to those who have to work on this day when you're technically not supposed to. To the first responders: this includes EMS, Fire Departments, Rescue Squads, Police Agencies, Coroners; to all those in the medical field: Doctors, RN's, LPN's, CNA's, Aids; to my fellow Funeral Directors and Embalmers or those that work in the business; to the individuals working in any business that worked today THANK YOU. You put your own needs, wants, and families on the back burner to help others in some way. Regardless, you should be recognized and appreciated not just on this day, but everyday.

I encourage everyone to stop and think of someone you may know that may be in one of these fields or that have had to work today and think about how selfless they are. Then, you should thank them. Just a little something to think about and appreciate. :) I hope everyone has had a wonderful and blessed Labor Day!